I am sorry that I am not updating my stuffs enough QnQ

It's been almost  a month since I came from my travel and I have yet to do much =(

To be honest, I still don't know what to do with my school OTL I have to work a lot to keep up the pace and I don't know what is going to happen. I wish I could be smarter and work more fast.


My birthday will be in a few weeks, however I know that it wouldn't be a good day. =_= Something bad will happen OTL I can feel it. I don't know why I am so pessimist. Anyway, I know that February will be a very busy month.  I can't wait to be finish with school.

I don't feel like doing anything, but at the same time I don't have the choice. I only want to draw recently, seriously. But at the same time I don't want the same thing to happen two years ago to happen again. Because two years ago, I was really into the mood to draw and I felt really motivated that I somehow neglected my schoolwork and it didn't end up great to be honest.

So I definitely don't want the same thing to happen, because I know that this time I will be in very big trouble.But at the same time, I don't want to do like last year and completely neglecting my DA account and everything because of my studies. At this moment, it's what I am doing, and I feel that soon I will be tired and depress like last year. And I know that this didn't end up well either OTL

So I am trying to find a middle to all this. However, I seriously can't get my  inspiration to do art from my head. I really need something to keep me more positive. It works sometimes, but then I feel depressed after some moments it's really weird.