Hey guys.
I am sorry about not updating for a long while. There is a lot to say.
First of all, I would like to say first and foremost that I did not give up on my fanfics. I know it seems that way because it's been a long time that I did absolutely nothing about it, but believe me, it's for reasons that I can't really control. So I will continue them eventually but for now my fanfics, all of them, are in a hiatus until I can have the time to work on them. Hope you all can understand.
As for the reasons, well they can all be resumed into one sentence: Life kinda sucks.
I finished with school and University before summer, and oh boy, was I happy about it!! I am still happy about it, I am happy to have this part of my life finish. However, now I am starting a new part of my life; Trying to find a first job and it's really difficult for me.
I just thought naively that it would have been easy, but the truth is that it's not easy. It's not easy to just graduate and be in a region where no one wants to give you a chance because you have yet to have experience, and no want wants to give you that chance to have experience.
During the summer, many things happened. Due to some situation, I lost my part-time job. I didn't care about this job as it was part-time and didn't enjoy it, but it was still a job and I could earn some money. I am not going to bring money as an issue because it's not the main issue, thankfully, but it made my situation difficult. Since I had no part-time job and still wasn't able to find a job that I graduated for, I could help a little with my family though. I would wake up early and take care of kids, my cousins, and it really helped me to be honest and during the rest of the day I would help my parents who also needed help for personal things. but this was tiring too. On the other hand, I also used this opportunity to travel a little bit, since I didn't know when would be the next time that I could easily take off without causing problems since I didn't have a specific job. So it wasn't all that bad. And then some times during summer, my laptop died. Thankfully, I did not lost any of my fics!! It was a miracle, but then I had to buy a new laptop and it was not easy and not a thing I could have quickly...
But I hope you can see that with all that, I didn't have the motivation or the time to write fics. My mind is way out there to be honest, filled with worries that bring some difficulties to write. I am trying to get back at it, but after not writing for a while, I find it really difficult. Also, I think it's important to mention that english is not my first language. So I can't just write what comes to my mind and not correct it, I feel like it's wrong and that I still need to make sure that it makes sense and that it has the less errors. I feel really guilty about not being able to give you anything, but I also feel guilty when I spend time on it instead of trying to find a job. I know I shouldn't. I know that I should at least take a few times to myself, but since it became quite difficult for me to write, it takes more energy and I can't do it when I am tired. It sucks, but unfortunately before anything, my life comes first and now is the time I have to work hard in hope to find a first official job. I am just scared of ruining my chances.
So I hope you all can understand qwq Sadly, I think that I will be able to continue with my fics once I found a job and once I would finally feel secure again with my life. Maybe I can work on it there and here mainly because I feel guilty, but I just can't promise anything. If I do it, it's mostly because of guilt instead of motivation and I don't want to write something that I love a lot, like Rochu, out of guilt, I want to put effort on it and write it with the sense of security and happiness that Rochu always brings me qwq On the other hand, I did some ficlets at the beginning of January and February, maybe I can post them here meanwhile.
If you want to communicate with me or hear more about me, you can check my Twitter. I am mostly always there (right now it's a source of comfort somehow lol QvQ) and I would be happy to communicate with you!
Thanks everyone! I hope your summer was great and that you will have a nice Fall soon.
No comments:
Post a Comment